I’ve been thinking a lot lately about marriage, about me and my Programmer being together for the rest of our lives… But I’d be neglectful to not mention the fight we had a few weeks ago.
A few weeks ago, I initiated sex. I wasn’t all that into it at first, but decided to go for it anyways, since he seemed agreeable.
He told me afterwards that he really hadn’t wanted to have sex at all. Wasn’t into it one little bit.
I felt surprised, and hurt that he didn’t feel that he could tell me no… And after more talking we broke down into a conversation about whether he finds me attractive at all.
Needless to say, that was a very long night, and while we worked it all out – including having the talk about how he never shares how he feels, or tells me he loves me (unless I say it first) – I’m still feeling a little gun shy.
I know most relationships go through hard times, when both people feel that something isn’t quite right… And it really sucks. I feel sad that we had to have that moment, but I’m glad we were able to make it through.
So now, I’m back to seeing little red hearts, and knowing that he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with – and while we did go through a rough night… We worked through our issues, and that is a great sign for the future.
